Today I am celebrating my 23rd birthday, and my heart overflows. I’ve spent a lot of sweet time with my man and little fella today, Uncle Wyatt should be coming over for dinner and cake in a while, and then Charlie is taking me out to see Beauty and the Beast (I’m pretty stoked!) But those are not the reasons my heart is so full.
I like to take time to reflect on my birthday and have tried to make it a habit the past 7 years. It is 3:33pm as I am writing this, and my baby is napping, so I’ve finally got a chance to do that right now. So here we go…
The last two years have been a whirlwind. I graduated college, I’ve been running my own businesses, I got married to my amazing man, we began building our family, I’ve started teaching photography online, and we are preparing to move in a few months with the Army.
When I stop and think about it all though today, the word that comes to my mind is “thankful”.
I am thankful…
I am thankful that through the good circumstances and the difficult ones, God has used both in my life to draw me to Him, and the closer I cling to Him, the more He allows my eyes to be opened to watch Him work.
I am thankful I know what it means to be loved unconditionally. For parents who are on my team, who have always, and will always pull for me.
For my husband, who sees the best of me and the worst of me on a daily basis, and never wavers.
And for my sweet new baby who looks at me with the most adoring eyes that I can’t imagine how I deserved to be so sweetly and innocently loved by.
I am thankful for the assurance of my salvation. I KNOW beyond a doubt where I am going when this life ends.
I am thankful for a God who calls us to be Holy, and to be like Him. And who doesn’t stop pursuing our hearts, drawing us to Him, because only by relying on Him can we ever begin to reach that standard. Who LOVES us DEEPLY where we are, but calls us to leave our sin, and follow Him. Because He knows only when we are abiding in Him will be be truly happy, joyful, content.
I am thankful I am learning to forgive. Bitterness is ugly, and steals joy. And yet I have realized as an adult facing the real world, and being hurt in real ways, how I so very much want to hold on to that hurt at times. And God is teaching me to “let it go” as I heard so long ago from our Pastor in Hawaii. To give it to Him, put it in “His box” as my dear friend Anne Hutton would say, and rest in the fact that He has it taken care of. It is freeing.
I am thankful I am learning to love. I am learning to ask Jesus to see others how He sees them. Not how I see them through my skewed, limited, critical perspective.
I am thankful for the sovereignty of God and that my understanding of it has begun to deepen. He is fully God, fully in control. I don’t have to understand everything He does, but the BEAUTIFUL thing is that I don’t HAVE to. What a relief.
I am thankful for the holiness and sanctification of marriage. God designed marriage oh so beautifully, and for those obeying and following how He intended marriage—He BLESSES it. Blesses it in ways that truly dazzle me. The ordinary days become extraordinary, when one can marvel as the incredible GIFT a spouse from God is.
I am thankful Charlie loves God more than me. I am going to fail him, but Jesus never will. My husband is grounded in Christ alone. I love the words to the old hymn, “On Christ the solid Rock I stand // All other ground is sinking sand.” That takes a WHOLE lot of pressure off of me. And I watch daily as my husband can demonstrate such GRACE to me, because His solid ground isn’t me, or our marriage, or our friendship, but Jesus.
I am thankful for relationship. God created us as relational beings, and I am grateful for the relationships He has placed around me. Relationships that encourage and fortify and refresh me. And relationships that I have the opportunity to give and pour in to… Which are such a sweet reminder that life isn’t about me. Life with eyes off myself is so much sweeter.
I am thankful for our home. I have felt more deeply upon my heart recently, gratitude for our little home, and the food we eat, and the bills that are paid, and the little extra things we have that are so above and beyond. We live a privileged life, and I never want to take it for granted.
I am thankful for God’s word. Thousands of years later, it is timeless. It encourages, refreshes, challenges, and relates VERY much in 2017 to the heart of this young momma. And I am so grateful for the time and ability I have to sit down and breath and read it.
I am thankful for my baby. Children are a gift from the Lord. Our inheritance, our greatest investment. I am so thankful for the opportunity to serve him every day, and put his needs before my own. It has helped me to reach out to Jesus more and more for the fulfillment that I need. As I have continued to reach out to the Lord, in one of what should be the craziest, busiest times in our lives thus far… I feel so calm, and still, and filled with energy to take care of my little family. It amazes me.
Life is not easy. It was not meant to be. We live in a broken world full of broken situations and broken people. But all of those things beautifully point to our need for Jesus. And because of Him no matter the situation, I can say “It is Well” and “Blessed be Your Name”.
On my 23rd birthday, I am Caroline Ann Hurdt. A little wife, momma, daughter, friend. And I am right where I am supposed to be, serving my family, and asking Jesus every day to help me follow Him. My heart is full, and I am quite Happily Hurdt.
